Upon my birth, I was seriously miscast in the role of a city boy with typical city-boy aspirations. For the vast majority of my life, I wandered around on an uncomfortable stage, never quite feeling in character, never quite being on cue, never quite hitting my mark. All while an unseen director had me first standing over here… then, no, the light wasn’t right, so try standing over there, instead. With such a big stage, the unseen director just kept moving me around, all over the stage, looking for just the right light, all to absolutely no avail.

Endless attempts at reading lines from a generic script had words falling out of my mouth like lead weights. I couldn’t help but watch as each word passed my lips and immediately fell to the floor. There wasn’t any bounce in them at all, they just hit with a dull thud, each word displacing a little puff of dust right before it formed a permanent bond with the floor. My words just laid there and died an unceremonious death, with me symbolically dying in empathy right along with them.

That’s a hell of a way to go through life.

Some years ago, I decided enough was enough. I gave up my acting job, left the stage, and allowed myself to move into a new realm, a realm where the focus is on placing the needs of my soul well ahead of the needs of my ego. A realm where gaining a measure of peace and tranquility in my life is more important than continuing to force-feed myself on noise and greed. A realm where I answer only to the call of the Universe, that soft voice of guidance who can only be heard in the stillness of my mind. A realm where I must first throw caution to the wind and then throw myself bodily into the great cosmic river, trusting its current to rescue me from the dark, safely sweep me along my journey towards light, and, from time to time, wash me up on the banks of a new experience, the very experience I need in order to facilitate what I can only refer to as my continued spiritual growth.

And all along this new journey, I will go where I need to go… in order to meet who I need to meet… so that I may learn what I need to learn… in order to teach what I know to teach… to gain what wisdom I can… and to slowly morph into a person of peace. The transformation will be slow, but I will look for signs of positive change in my demeanor and in the way I present myself to others. But mostly, I hope to feel that positive change in my mind because it is in the stillness of my mind where I will ultimately experience that peace.

This blog is about that journey.


[updated: 09/06/2011 @ 20:46 CT (GMT-5)]